Sunday, June 28, 2009

i'm not the person i've become. Because i'm always changing. Therefore i really cant become anything, so i became nothing.

if your already depressed dont read this, my Gloominess is contagious. & if any of this offends you, that sucks. my morals and concience abandoned me sometime during 6th grade.... I don't live, I just hullucinate... i cant talk, i just conjure up scenario's that resemble dreams... I've never touched, I only fantasize about tangible matter. I can concieve the notion of these experiences from how others describe it, but know that as far back as i can remember i havent felt reality like i should. Honestly ii don't even know what i like.. When i think about it's some what depressing but also moderately comforting because i can live a lie that you and i pressume true. But i can only kid myself for so longg, before i look in the mirror and can't reckonize the reflection.There has to be a time limit on how long someone can become hypnotized by superficial substance, before they feel digust and become nauseated by how insubstantial there lives are. It kills me to see the people i care about headed to such a destructive paths that i've endured before, and it left me unhappy and exhuasted for too long.. But they won't listen to me, i wouldn't have either. Just because i'm better than i was doesn't make me even close to a good person. I can't do anything too save them but sit there witness there desolation, but no longer endure there pain . i don't think im fully comatose to feeling others pains, just very desensitize to it. ii often ponder if this is why my mister rights normally end up sleeping in other girls rooms?? maybe i just like assholes idk i quit dating, im content with my main man tank.Well my rides here... if a keg and 50 of my closest friends can't get me outta this funkk I don't know what can. xoX

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